looking back

I started this blog as a way to vent all my erotic thoughts.

As a way to indulge.

Though I feel as though now my blogging interest lye in a different area.

As I learn more and more about sustainability, it fascinates me,

the complexities, the balance, the future, the past!

My erotic fantasy has turned into an eco journey.

I hope you will still be happy to come with me on this journey as a reader.


plug back in the system

I started hiking recently idk why. well maybe I do now, but i didn’t when I started. Hiking and hiking alone has been a way for me to deal with my emotions in a way that nothing else has been able to help with. I can let down my walls and just feel in a safe space sourrounded by all that wildernes.

And when I am done, sweatting, hungry, – I can plug back into society with a new found calm sense of purpose.

Dating within my interest.

Hiking and art are both very personal experiences, That I find hard to express simply without undervaluing those experiences. I feel as though they have a great meaning to me and I would like to share those feelings with people I can trust with my emtions.

And that is why I find it hard to talk to people with similar interst as these feelings are very close to me and I could get hurt, hell I can and will get hurt really easily.

But it is better than the alternative, being stuck in a loop with people find toxic, food, activities mind body and soul. I want to enjoy life, seek out purpose with people on the same path.

dating dilemma

I want to date someone who likes being healthy, the envirnment and enjoys hiking as I do.

I feel like this is a big part of my life and would like others to join.

but I seem to attract people who… like sugar, don’t walk and are very consumerist.

My understanding is they like parts of my life, parts of me.

am I being fussy?

Title: A van in a drive way.

Walking back from the pub my arm around my date Alice, we headed to my house, well my van.

Alice“This is cool a great idea, tell me about your van?”

“I saved up and bought this van 6months ago. It had a lot of km on it, but I did want to drive it. The housing prices in Melbourne were insane and renting just sickened me, all my pay for what a bed? I was going to find a cheaper alternative and I found it in the form of an old motorhome. Its sleak curves and shape now outdated. It was really just a shell of a vehicle. I was going to live in it as a cheaper way to rent a house, so I was still paying utilities. “

Alice “Yeah?”

“The wheels gave the illustion that I could move at any time, but this unregistered bungalow on stilts was just my way of scoring cheap rent. I found a nice share house with a drive way. As much as I liked the outdoors, my roots lye in the inner city. And so I rented out the driveway. This took $50 a week of the rent so housemates where happy. And my van fed power back into the grid.”

Alice“Seems like you have got it all figured out!”

“Living in the inner city but disconnected from the many attached expenses. This was tricky but piece by piece I saved money but spending less. One thing I also did was disconnect myself from the internet… well mostly. This was hard as I had such an attachment to the internet. At the bottom of it all it is really just appreances. If this van looked like a dump I would not be able to park it here. One place I was living at I told them that I wanted to fix it up and them travel around the country in a year. I was fixing it up… and I was going to travel but they were not connected. this van is just a stationary home.”

Fucking on the roof, it is the middle of summer and we sat on the roof to watch the stars, after a few beers you asked for it from behind, your face pressed against the solar panel. The moon and stars watching on, I slide into you I can feel you. Your fingers stroking yourself as I fuck your 33 year old ass. The overhanging trees shade us from the street, this quiet street. As I thrust into you, your breath and lipstick fogging up the solar panel. Stars reflected in the black shine of the panels. You moan and cum, and I finish not long after your pulling at your hair. I roll of you, and we sit breath and hug. My arm around you your curled up into my chest, the titled solar panels acting like deck chairs. This is love.

a date

How are you today? 🙂

The serious me? Not sure what to say. I have gone back to uni to study design, it  makes me sad to think of all the bad we are doing to the environment, and so I hike and camp out in the wilderness in my free time to feel more balance. I am not sure where this uni course will lead but I hope I do work in social change  and hopefully learn enough to have a positive impact on people and the environment. Or at least a better understanding of this lovely land and nature around me. Not sure if that answers your question.

I have never modeled, but I hear it pays well! Thank you for the compliments it made me smile. You have great style and your dresses and hair are really lovely.

My favorite cartoon? was the Simpsons, I would watch them every day after school and now it is Rick and Mortey, I want the next season to come out already because I like that show. what was your favorite cartoon as a kid & now?

whats on your mind?

A city to come back to

I can’t stand the city, moving to fast, all chaotic, I can’t keep up,

So I cast away the streets I say farewell to concrete sidewalks,

and let friends and family know where I am in case I get lost,

stepping into the wild, I realize how much I eat, as I have to carry it,

realize the simple comforts I enjoy, because they are not there,

and see that the city is a lot smaller than I thought, and this wilderness is far bigger,

far, far more powerful and moving than anything I have every felt,

tired, sore, done, I head home, to the city I can come back to.

thoughts on hiking.

I don’t want to kick a ball,

I don’t feel like getting drunk,

and shopping hurts my feet,

In many ways I don’t fit into the modern world, but I find releaf in hiking.

There are no time restrictions, the minimum amount of people to hike is one, me.

And I see it as a way to deal with the compexities of the modern world.

A few small steps

I hiked for 3 hours today, with a backpack and a bottle of water.

the average human walks 5km in an hour… so 15km?

it doesnt seem far, but I felt it.

A few small steps, towards my goal of a 9 day wildernes hike.