thinking it through in a poem

My body shakes, and I can’t sleep, 

I feel all messed up, was dating you good for me?

Or just a cut getting deeper, 

I know you will hurt me again, 

Should I prepare, or leave. 

You make me hate everyone in the room, 

And now I think, should I share my feelings with you? 

hearts break, late night at the party

I was so caught up being a good partner, 

A had a drink and chatted and relaxed, 

They were kissing others out of sight and then infront of me, 

I was right there, why not kiss me your partner, 

I knew things would get worse from there,

Late at night I went to bed exhasted, tired of watching my feelings be trampled, 

As i lay there stomach churning, I could here, 

Sounds that of sex and lust. 

Do I leave a love? Am I pathetic? 

sex and solitude (lyrics)

Solitary blues

In solitude with too many things to do,

In solitude, ten days, with too many little things to do,

­­ In the thick of a solitude session, just me with a little more me

In the walls which I sit, there are open doors but I do not move

In solitude I find my own things to do,

 

SEX

Sex running through my blood,

Sex is running through my blood, pretty little loveI had, now I want,

My blood is a little warmer thinking of you,

Warm thighs and tight clothing, I last the longest

Sex is all around, and it makes me smile how attractive the world is

Seven thoughts on my mind as I sing my Solitary blues (lyrics)

 

DENIAL

In solitude with too many things to do,

Sex running through my blood,

I stay up late looking for answers,

Messy room, materials and unfinished pieces,

Doesn’t take long for me to lose my mind.

Independent thought is  – ugly, rough around the edges, unprofessional.

Copy cat, that is where it is at

 

ANGER

In solitude, ten days, with too many little things to do,

Sex is running through my blood, pretty little loveI had, now I want,

I stay up late looking for answers, please enlighten me while I close my eyes

Messy room, clothes on the floor, I don’t want to throw anything out,

I am frozen here, wanting to move,  i think im losing a piece of myself,

Trying to think a clear thought, but it just isn’t feeling that way,

Everything has been done, what am I doing anyway

 

­­  BARGAINING

I the thick of a solitude session, just me with a little more me

My blood is a little warmer thinking of you,

Late is the hour, looking for something more, drousy mind, any answer will do,

I have not cleaned in so long, so many, could be projects

I feel my world a little over simplified

I try to create my own thing, but all I am doing is making a mess

Copy copy paste.

 

DEPRESSION

In the walls which I sit, there are open doors but I do not move

Warm thighs and tight clothing, I last the longest

I stay up very late, searching, for idk what

Messy room, now clean, fabrics drapped over things, chic

Doesn’t take long to lose my mind, doesn’t take long to find it either,

I try to make something of myself, but unsure what will work

Keep it simple, inspiration is everywhere

 

ACCEPTANCE

In solitude I find my own things to do,

Sex is all around, and it makes me smile how attractive the world is,

I stay up late as a am still enjoying the day,

Neat room, books in a line, I feel comfort here, and I am glad I cleaned it

My mind I keep, personal best and a smile above the rest

I think, see watch and do, after all that is all you can do

I think and write funny little list, for a few close friends to witness

I copy you, and you copy me hand in hand

Title:  Blonde Sanders and the Paper people. ( draft/ Science fiction)

 

I was sitting the lunch room, eating a cheese sandwadge, not because I was hungry, I like cheese, I was just pasing the time. I had also been flolding origami animals. I made a swan, and several smaller swans I lined up behind the mother swan, I sat back and admired my creations. You need a hobby on these long scouting missions.

I was sent here on a scouting mission as my ship explored each planet one by one in this solar system.

You can’t understand a planet just by looking from above. I was given, a 7 water shots that will last the week, and 10 food shots so I don’t go hungry. Though I am happy to fast for a few days, hunger keeps me sharp and alert.

I packed them into my backpack. Along with the usuall emergency supplies: oxygem helmet, ray gun and first aid kit, and of course my intergalaxtic passport. I am always forgetting that.

I arrived on the planet in what seems to be mid morning. The locals we a little startled as I made such a racket coming down. But I made the intergalactic greating and began my tour of the planet.

I look around at all the quaint houses, neat in every way. The ground, the buildings, even the sky had a neat proper perfect look to it. It took me some time to put my finger on it why things looked so neat.  I placed my hand up against a building and absurved its texture, and thats when I got a paper cut. A yes, this world is made of paper, paper roads, paper buildings, paper clouds in a paper sky, and paper people walking on by.

I spoke to the locals and followed a crowd to a town meeting. There I spoke to the mayor and asked if someone could show me around. He got his assistant to show me around. A paper lady, with paper hair curls.

“Greetings I am Blonde Sanders” – I said out aloud. In an all too loud voice.

“ hehe, no need for such formalities, you sound like you are from a 1950’s space film. Carrie is the name. I am the assistant to the mayor at Paperville” –  Carrie said with a smile.

on an origami world I met an origami girl.

We had much to talk about my human world, and her paper thin world.

Her skirt hung of her paper thin waste, with just the right folds.

We went a park to watch ducks swim on a blue paper lake,

And although I cannot live here, and live on paper spaghetti with a red paper sauce, with paper cheese shavings. I am not meant for this angular world.

Beach chickens in outerspace

beach chickens.JPG

I awoke with the sun beating down on my face, I must have fell asleep in the sun. That groggy heated feeling, I sit up with my head spinning and make my way to some shade. Everything is blue and purple.

I rest under the shade and recover. I open my eyes again and look up at a huge leaf that is shading me. Very perculiar, I can see all the vains of the leaf, as it it expands hugely over me, I follow the veins with my gase to the edge of the plant. And marvel at it. I am seated in the dirt. Surrounded by large rocks. And a tall corn field… no these are singular stemed and thick, grass? But they are way way to big to be grass.

I get to my feet to get a better Idea where I am. Yes it is very tall grass, why is everything so big. I try and think back to what I was doing before I fell asleep. I went for a drive, stoped at a nice picnic spot had some lunch and took a rest. And now, oh shit.

I remembered something that I was told about this planet. “Dehydration will deplet your mass!” I read on the scanner as I was driving in here coming into orbit. I wasn’t paying attention. And now I have shrunk, heaps! I must be tiny to be smaller than grass. I need to hydrate to get back to my original size.

I jog over to the blade of grass and pull down it down and take a big bite into the grass. Ew, it crunches in my mouth and taste really bitter. I swallow it down, nothing happens. I must need a lot to grow again.

I take another bite, another and eat as much of this blade of grass as I can. I can feel myself growing in size, I grow to more than double the size of the blade of grass. Yes it is working, I am so happy. My head knocks against the overhanging leaf.

I push the leaf aside and look around, there are more small people walking around, I guess they didn’t pay attention to the warning notice either when they arrived at this planet. There are a few beach chickens walking around just courious with all the small people. The beach chickens are harmless, with their dodo brains.

I stretch and breath in the day, this is off to an interesting start to my 2 week vacation in outerspace.