fix me

I don’t know what I told my nervous self before I met you,

but now I am mad that you did not fix me,

putting to much pressure on love.


I was about to set my alarm clock, bright and early,

to chase a new social idealism,

but that is wrong of me, at least for now,

its my own heart i should nurture,

I am sinking, sinking into me.


I am not crazy enough, to do things alone,

I can’t think of words to say when I am put in that situation,

small talk I cannot speak.


something is funny and I don’t know why,

boring, empty, but laughing hard in the madhouse,

what have I found? knowledge but without heart,

observe a scar, that bleeds right from the start,

morels, say no? maybe yes, I don’t know.

mind games

my mind is expanding rapidly and I am struggling to entertain it,

who knew that I could make connections, cross boundaries,

yet this empty space that keeps growing within me,

only makes being on the frontier ever lonely.

saturday unrest

waking up feeling fine, but that soon subsides,

the ring of good times from last night echo in my mind,

can’t look at my phone, it only makes me sad,

why is that? reminds me of everything I never had.

love has gone

I am on my own again, not a call from love again.

and I feel the pain of it all sinking into me

I wonder if I have learnt anything,

maybe I can try pelvic floor exercises to delay cumming

I want love to last all morning

a little hard work for when new love comes around.


stressed time is chasing me, and I am not sure why I am running,

there is no need to hurry, but for some reason, I can’t stop,

thinking about times and places, know lonely is what I will be if I go without,

but the worry is building, replacing the lonely isolation,

is this any better, can I call on more than a friend?