making plans

Cold and hungry, dog on my bed so not lonely, I rest my feet, boots on the ground, thinking of a meal, Whatever I do tonight is not a big deal, room for good vibes, What is planned for tomorrow? …

A walk at night

On this journey of life, another spiritual quest I took,

Little dog to look after as I wonder through the plains,

Head held high, warmed up and well stretched,

Good balance and a healthy back,

Heavy boots, but I can still feel the earth,

Breath in the air and smile at the trees,

The road bends and curves and I hug it tightly every inch,

My small dog breaths and pants, people and faces,

Fence lines and brick, blend and blur as I walk following a path,

On my spiritual journey, stepping back in time.

again again again

I wont ever see the same people again.

No need to wait or hold the door. What for?

I will not see these faces again.

I want to stay here happy in my own skin, not worried if our paths will cross again, because they wont.

Not with you not with anyone, and I can be myself  because if I be silly no one will know.

I can run jump, paint and draw, as I am only walking forward in this journey no time to stop for you.

Our paths may cross for reasons unintended.

A happy moment and a wave goodbye from me and my body.

I won’t ever see these same people again

Train

I was dumped at the end of last year, happy fucking newyear to me. Anyway I was chatting to an old man about electronics and his passion for it when my exs friend got on the train. They sat down across from me and the old man and pulled out a book about Canada out of a bag. And started to flick through the pages.

She wore purple fishnet stockings, and a colourful long skirt. Sharing intesly at the pages. As though they did not want to be disturbed. But I found it odd that on this mostly empty train they sat so close to me. I don’t know what the rules are with ex’s friends as I was the one that was heartlessly dumped but I have no problem with Janna so I said hi “Hi Janna, Its me Jesse” I said with a smile. “how are you how is the aromatherapy course going”. Something I remember discussing earlier last year with them. Janna looked up at me in the eyes, then at the man. And said hello with a grim on her face, and told me about it. I asked about her day and what she has been up to. I said I was catching the train home. And see asked if instead I wanted to hang out with her and her place. I did not see why not, all I was going to do was read on the balcony, I’m sure that book can wait.

We talked some more and the old man who I introduced came to his stop and got off. Janna’s place was a little further. I had been there before when I visited with my ex. We get of the train and make our way to her gate, white and bright through the door and down the hall.

I asked for some water. It is a hot day and I had done plenty of talking. Janna pores a glass and I drink it. We head into her room and she sits on the bed. And talks about objects in her room. There are many things and I like the way it is decorated. It is colourful and would have taken a long time to collect everything, very girly and the room smells like a girl. You ask me to lay down with you so you can play with my hair. We lay down with your arms around me and you swirl your fingernails in my hair. I feel the soft shape of your tits on my back and I remember how big your tits are for such a skinny girl.

I sit up and your fingers trace along my back. It feels so nice to be touched like this. You rum my shoulders, my neck and I can feel your nails on my back. I feel your tongue on the back of my neck. You spread out your arms around my waist and your hands go under my shirt and feel my chest and stomach. A hand goes into my lap. I can see that you are testing the waters to see what you can and can not do. But we are in your room and I like you so whatever is fine with me. But I do not say this I let you search my body nervously. You unzip my pants and spread them a little. I can feel your cheak on my back and your breath warm against my neck. You rub my underwear, it feels so nice. And you reach in and grab my cock. It feels so large in your hand. Your long sharp nails but you are ever so gental with my cock. You stroke it and then start to jerk up and down, your breath on my neck. A hand on my chest. You want this you want to feel my heart beat. You kisses on my neck. I turn my head our eyes meeting as you keep jerking my cock I breath and you breath me in. I kiss our lips and taste your tongue in my mouth. I turn and you ask me what I want.

I did not have any plans on how this should go. I just wanted to go with the flow, see how our bodies connect and follow what they want. I lay back on the bed head on a pillow. You looks so pretty with your cheaks flushed with colour. We kiss some more and you go back to jerking my cock our eyes still locked on each over your lower lip hanging down.

You ask about my ex, and if this is wrong. I told Janna it was my ex who broke it of with me and this is right if you feel it to be so. You smile , your eyes creasing and the glassy watery look they have shinning as they stare at me. You blush, and look down at our bodies. Your hand grasping around my cock. You stroke it and move your thighs back and lean forward your eye on mine as you make your way down to my cock. Your arse raasing I can see the shape outlined on your skirt. I lick and suck me. Your hands pressed on the blankets for support hands sinking in. I lick and suck me. I can feel the warth of your mouth, little scrapes of your teeth and your tongue your lift up away from my dick, drool from your mouth dripping down your lips in a stream onto my dick covering it like syrupe. I like the feeling but I do not want you to stop just there. You tell me to be wrough with you. As I know from stories you have told about past lovers how you like to be dominated. I am more of a giver than a taker but I aimed to do my best to dominate you.

Janna: I want this and I want you. I make it clear that I love it only when it hurts. I guide your hand to grab my hair I make a sound to show that I like that. I feel your fingers pulling my hair I tease your cock with my tongue and pull away a lot to tease you to make you want more. You pull hard on my hair and I go down on your cock. I hold my head there as I try and pull away. And you begin to fuck my face. I feel your cock pump in and out of my throat.

Jesse: I grab your hair, fingers holding tight and I push your face back onto my cock all the way down, you suck slowly but I want it harder and faster so with my hand holding your hair I push and pull your face on my cock.

Janna: I move my tongue around in my mouth. As I you pump harder into my mouth, pulling hard on my hair. Your breathing quickens and I can see you are lost in bliss I look up at you. And you cum. It is thick and warm. You are holding to close on my face as I try and holding it in my mouth and I need to breath. I gag a little and your cum comes out of my nose.

You reaslie how tight you are holding onto my face. And let go. I take a big breath in and swallow. I wipe my face with my hand and lick my fingers clean. This I have found is a good thing to do swallow all the cum like honey, I care for Jesse every part of him.

seated under a tree

I have sat down on the edge of a hill under an overhanging tree, the leaves sway in the breeze as I write this, pondering in the shade.

Title:

Moving out feels akward. As I still have a life here. But my bed is too bulky to move on my own. If I am to shift it I will have to do it with a bigger car and a second pare of hands. But if I do this today that means I have no where to sleep for the next two days. If I thought this through better I would have kept my yoga mats here that way I could have used them as bedding for the next two days. I should remember that next time. I wish my matress was lighter and could bend more easily. Then moving house would not have been such a chore.

Title:

Sometimes I feel so self confident. And then once I start showing down, I crave the attention of the opposite sex. I need a message, a chat to let me know I am still worth something. But how do I fix this self doubt and lonesomeness? Get back on the work wagon, do the things I love and make it happen.

Title:

Now that the school year is over I have time to think. And I think to myself, what did I do all of that year? I studied most of it. Worked every day off and some days clashed. I went through a few partners, one was around for the most part. Hiked around a mountain, went to a week long hippie festival. But at the same time it does not seem like a lot. As though being caught up in it all I actually missed out on a lot more. And did not see even more. For some strange reason I feel as though my foggy head was due to a carb overload making life a little bit more complicated in my head. But maybe this is just how fast a year goes. Which is kind of scary. As though that is a year gone in a blink. One down 60 more left. A sad and scary thought. That one day it will all be over.

F for fungi

this image is part of a colour in book I am making this month. A to F I have made today. it has taken a few hours but I am happy with the progress I have made. I could not …

Thoughts on a Friday afternoon

Title: not worth it

I hope everything of yours is gone. You gross me out. I feel bad that I let you into my life, but now I have stripped back everything you touched and thrown it in to be washed. Including myself. Scrubbing away, until I do not feel your presents again.

Title: Reading nook

I am proud of my books, all lined up neatly along my window nook. Books from my travels, books I have reread, books on my list to read. But now with technology, my books are becoming obsolete. Ebooks are easy and I can always take it with me. I will cherish my time I had spent with my books, and will continue to read them and more. The future is now.

Title: 1969

I am transported back to a time where things seemed a bit more free and easily.

The thriving see life of the tropics. In all its beauty be cast of as cheap in the right light.

I sit back at a friends place and complain about how the world has passed me by, drongos following me around, making my wallet run dry.

I am tired trying to look collected in my shades.

I want to be free follow the coastline, feel the waves beneath my dingy.

The sand so calm, the stepping back onto land after a long boat ride.

I feel alive. Life is simple away from the masses.

There is no one around to help, but also no one around to hinder.

A little girl below the jetty, pretty and blonde, I wonder what her name is I wonder what she is doing down there.

In time I think things will reveal themselves.

But for now I need some time on my own, in a room of ones own.

This place is a mess, I need to clean it out before I undress.

My dog sniffs out trouble, but I am thinking elsewhere.

The sea so blue in the background, makes me feel small.

This is not a bad thing I must understand, it is there to help me deal with my thoughts, turn my big head into something small.

Title: done with purpose.

Easier to write than to do.

For in my thoughts I can make anything happen.

I can make the sky turn blue, bring me to you.

I can make my homework done in a flash, And my past and future rewrite itself.

But I do not feel the accomplishment I would feel if I had done it for real,

Maybe I am just not imagining hard enough.

Title: The back of my mind

Trapped in my mind. I wanted to see what was inside, really dig deep and see what I hide. But now that I am here the door has closed the water filling in. I am washed away into a part that I am not familiar with. I know it is me, but now I begin to wonder. So deep in my thoughts I have travelled. Now trying to find my way out. Colours rich and glowing, blues and greens, thick jungle surronds me, I have not been this far before, and I am beginning to scare myself. These thoughts are so primal, so exotic, so forgine to me. But here they are they must be mine. I am told we only use 10% of our brain, I feel as though I have travelled deeper than that, thick sludge around my feel. In my mind, somehow I am not alone.