out in the garden

I like to spend time out in my garden, mowing the laws, weeding the plants and playing with my dog. I feel I can think when I am out there, I can breath, and also I feel as though whatever was bothering me seem to shrink.

Out there between to ferns,

I feel the hot sun, I feel it burn,

My gloves shielding me from the dirt and my sun hat from the sun,

My mind races, and plunders over a sea of thoughts that race over me,

on this very hot, sun afternoon,

I think about business, university, life, death and love,

I think about clutter, uncluttering this garden,

untangling the yard and my thoughts at the same time,

I can not change my situation in one afternoon,

but I can change how I think and feel, and react,

to the magical world I live in.


Do you have a place or activity that gives you space? A place that makes your big problems small? Do you enjoy gardening?


Morning glory from a body so tight and doughy in all the right places,

Lay back now, I want my fill, smiling eyes covered, Lucy’s juicy swallow,

Suck and lick, hard and thick, build under pressure,

Naked body, undressed I am impressed,

I’ll spend all morning loving you, the day outside waiting for us,

Wake up early go for a walk, I’ll sit on the sand when you kayak on the beach,

Lets fool around in nature, be my sexual teacher,

Spank, you grabbing the back of your head as I hold you down,

You want me inside, backdoor I will hide, gentle lover you like it rough,

More and more from you, it is never enough

Hunger pains

Hunger pains, cold again, that sick morning feeling,

Did I leave a piece of me with you, is it growing like a plant seed,

Or was it never planted properly,

I am attracted to a burning flame, better if I don’t get to close,

It wont be only my fingers that feel the hot wax,

Online, all the time, searching for?

I puzzle myself, slow and steady,

Smile as I clean up the mess from the night before,

A comforting feeling, sitting alone,

A happy safe place and a quick fix,

What I don’t want, seems to be a longer list,

No ciggarets or children, please be thin, and friendly to beign,

I don’t care for geeky things,  a photo of you outdoors,

I need a grace period, a time to bleed all these bad presumtions out,

I will find that inner smile, even if it takes a while.

letters unsent

I find good therapy for me and the best way to deal with a difficult time is to write a letter that I will not send. No one is hurt, and gives me time to reflect and heal.Is there answers from someone that you never got? Or is there something you wanted to get of your chest to someone but never did?

Dear T,


I am upset, I really liked you and felt you felt the same way.

that day and night we spent together. I could say I was not myself, and did not express the way I wanted to. Maybe I was as nervous as you were, but you just didn’t see it. I had a lot to say to you and ask you. but said the wrong things, wore clothing that I don’t normally wear. and was really timid.

I think the drive down and a few busy days before hand turned me into a passive zombie. Not really myself, something I would normally stay at home and hid way for a day to recover.

I would like to know,

did meeting me unvail the illusion?

I said to myself I would take sometime assess how I feel and write back to you in a few weeks with a clear head.

I thought you might write back, but you have not. So I thought I would send this email to clear things up for me. In that time I was able to reflect on myself. and no I cannot say after that first meeting I was happy where it was headed. Only because I had things I had not dealt with yet and needed time by myself to do so.

To say that you have made up your mind, had a good time but. I think the thing that bugged me was your email it was not a proper answer.

one of the sacriest things with getting to know someone knew is thinking can I be myself around them. If the answer is no, then why? and if the answer is still no. then they are not for you.


Your friend and always smiling,




Trying to write an email to a friend

Dear S,

A holiday sounds exciting! from our recent chats it seems like you need and crave getting out of that city.

Study to be done, and holiday to plan, It sounds stressful and exciting at the same time.

P is a good spot to see the urban sprawl. P has many calafornia bungalow houses that look amazing when to walk down streets lined with them. And a short tram ride towards the city will take you to what I think is the best of Melbourne’s urban culture. It all awaits to open up before you.

Or staying it the city opens up other options. I’ll let you find them yourself. hehe 🙂 whatever you choose I am sure it will be great!

Looking forward to hearing about your thoughts, plans and adventures.


Your friend and always smiling,




I don’t wear the right clothes,

I don’t say the right things,

I try to be friendly,

But my thoughts are all negative,

I want to be loved, get notes sent to me,

I look pretty on the outside but you keep your distance,

I have things to do, this is nothing new,

Try to not be clingy, but the things you do excite me,

I want to be around you

Sharing a moment where we would both rather be

:  :       Paul: What are you doing/thinking?

:  :       Rebecca: i   watching tv thinking about the sea

:  :       Rebecca: at night

:  :       Rebecca: 🙂

:  :       Rebecca: must be very peaceful

:  :       Rebecca: wish i could go there one day

:  :       Paul: Waves going bavk and forth. Cool sand on your feet.

:  :       Paul: Moonlight on the waves

:  :       Rebecca: full moon?

:  :       Rebecca: beautiful

:  :       Rebecca: drinking ch pagne haha

:  :       Paul: Trees rustling, tracks in the sand

:  :       Paul: A mat to sit on, toes in the sand

:  :       Rebecca: mmmm

:  :       Rebecca: 🙂

:  :       Rebecca: great for meditating

:  :       Rebecca: the sound of the waves all night

:  :       Rebecca: when you fall in and out of sleep

:  :       Rebecca: its very calming

:  :       Paul: Strong heavy crashes of waves, slowly sloftly sinking away

:  :       Rebecca: with a booming sound

:  :       Rebecca: and then a soft hiss

:  :       Rebecca: crabs scattering across the beach in the moonlight

:  :       Paul: Watch there outlines

:  :       Rebecca: their bodies shine

:  :       Rebecca: and shimmer

:  :       Paul: Open the bottle have a sip

:  :       Rebecca: its soft and fruity flavoured

:  :       Rebecca: ah this is a fun g e

:  :       Rebecca: the bubbles dissolve on your tongue

:  :       Paul: Sharing the bottle passing it back

:  :       Rebecca: pouring it into tall glasses

:  :       Paul: Cheers

:  :       Rebecca: laying back on the mat staring at the stars

:  :       Rebecca: looking at constellations

:  :       Rebecca: thinking about the fact you are looking at the past

:  :       Rebecca: thinking those who have died might be there

:  :       Rebecca: somewhere

:  :       Rebecca: your mood starts to change and you drag yourself back into the present moment

:  :       Rebecca: appreciating the sea

:  :       Paul: Hear it, breath it in

:  :       Rebecca: it clears your mind

:  :       Rebecca: nothing is that bad anymore

:  :       Rebecca: life is worth living for the moment

:  :       Rebecca: you forget your unhappiness and start to really smile

:  :       Paul: Feel it within

:  :       Rebecca: it comes over your body

:  :       Rebecca: like a warm feeling

:  :       Rebecca: the ch pagne is going to your head

:  :       Rebecca: you feel abit giddy

:  :       Rebecca: and a little tired but relaxed

:  :       Rebecca: you have good company

:  :       Paul: A late night to share

:  :       Rebecca: their presence brings you calm

:  :       Rebecca: and happiness

:  :       Rebecca: 🙂

:  :       Rebecca: how   i doing?

:  :       Paul: Great.

:  :       Rebecca: sweet

:  :       Rebecca: you feel as though you could fall asleep right there on that mat

:  :       Rebecca: you feel so comfortable and in good company

:  :       Paul: Another glass, the bottle won’t last

:  :       Rebecca: thx lol

:  :       Rebecca: you can hear tjhe music from a party in the distance

:  :       Rebecca: sometimes loud and sometimes drowned out completely by the sound of the waves

:  :       Paul: Far enough to be alone

:  :       Rebecca: its romantic music

:  :       Paul: Yeah?

:  :       Rebecca: love songs from the   s

:  :       Rebecca: ?

:  :       Rebecca: and some beach boys

:  :       Rebecca: it feels abit like a lynch film

:  :       Paul: This place these sounds in a moment of its own disconnected from the world

:  :       Rebecca: mmmm 🙂

:  :       Paul: Sit here, or care to dance?

:  :       Rebecca: do you dance?

:  :       Paul: Now is your chance! Hehe

:  :       Rebecca: i can show you a waltz lol

:  :       Paul: Id like that

:  :       Paul: Stand facing you, feet and hands following your direction

:  :       Rebecca: i hold your hands and tell you to move your feet with mine

:  :       Rebecca: slowly

:  :       Rebecca: side to side

:  :       Rebecca: we move side to side

:  :       Rebecca: in the moonlight

:  :       Rebecca: some water rushes over our feet

:  :       Paul: Cool and bubbly

:  :       Rebecca: we stand in the water not really noticiing it

:  :       Rebecca: and laughing cause its funny to be dancing

:  :       Rebecca: oh i forgot you put your arm around my waist

:  :       Rebecca: you start to get into the rhythm of the waltz

:  :       Rebecca: and follow my movements

:  :       Rebecca: counting one two three

:  :       Rebecca: one two three

:  :       Paul: Your waste is small, I like the feel of the matetial of your dress

:  :       Paul: I focus on the dance

:  :       Rebecca: haha i   blushing at your touching my waist

:  :       Rebecca: i also have my hand on your waist

:  :       Rebecca: over your shirt

:  :       Rebecca: focusing on trying to teach you

:  :       Rebecca: but embarrassed

:  :       Paul: Sweaty hands

:  :       Rebecca: yes me too

:  :       Rebecca: we are smiling

:  :       Rebecca: and laughing

:  :       Rebecca: then i put my head on your shoulder

:  :       Rebecca: and we waltz like its a school dance

:  :       Rebecca: it feels so relaxing

:  :       Paul: Around and around in ankle deep water

:  :       Paul: The rythem of the dance

:  :       Paul: Rocking bavk and forth

:  :       Rebecca: the water lapping our legs and angles

:  :       Rebecca: the bottom of my dress is getting wet

:  :       Rebecca: rocking back and forth like in a trance

:  :       Rebecca: 🙂

:  :       Paul: Dre y

:  :       Rebecca: you like that?

:  :       Paul: Yes i do

:  :       Rebecca: me too 🙂

:  :       Rebecca: you reach down and kiss my cheek

:  :       Rebecca: very soft and sweetly

:  :       Rebecca: i melt

:  :       Paul: My hand on your waste

:  :       Paul: The other feel your fingertips

:  :       Rebecca: your hand tightening on my waist

:  :       Paul: Give you a squeeze

:  :       Rebecca: i wrap my arm further around your back

:  :       Rebecca: 🙂

:  :       Paul: My and rubs your back as we dance slowly

:  :       Rebecca: it feels comforting

:  :       Rebecca: i kiss your left cheek

:  :       Rebecca: softly

:  :       Rebecca: and then your right

:  :       Rebecca: slowly and softly

:  :       Rebecca: your skin feels warm and soft

:  :       Paul: I feel wet lips on my skin,

:  :       Rebecca: beneath my lips

:  :       Rebecca: good?

:  :       Paul: I enjoy your effection and squeese your hips and smile

:  :       Rebecca: our waltz changes

:  :       Rebecca: i put my arms around your neck

:  :       Rebecca: and you put both hands on my hips

:  :       Rebecca: and we move from side to side

:  :       Paul: I feel your shape.

:  :       Rebecca: you kiss my forehead

:  :       Rebecca: slowly and delicately

:  :       Paul: Hips move beneath a pretty dress

:  :       Paul: I taste you

:  :       Rebecca: my forehead tastes salty

:  :       Paul: Hehe

:  :       Rebecca: lol

:  :       Rebecca: you move down and kiss my nose

:  :       Paul: I can see you smile in the moon light

:  :       Rebecca: our eyes are interlocked

:  :       Rebecca: i caress your hair

:  :       Paul: I can feel the warmth of your body radiate.

:  :       Rebecca: you lean down and kiss my lips softly

:  :       Rebecca: and delicately

:  :       Paul: You breath out and i breath you in

:  :       Rebecca: i cant breathe

:  :       Rebecca: my head is spinning

:  :       Paul: I hold you

:  :       Rebecca: i put my head back on your shoulder and keep dancing

:  :       Rebecca: getting closer

:  :       Rebecca: our bodies

:  :       Rebecca: hugging

:  :       Paul: We drift into knee deep water

:  :       Rebecca: i can feel your heart beating fast

:  :       Paul: I like it here

:  :       Rebecca: in knee deep water?

:  :       Paul: Sharing it with you, the beach, the night, the dance

:  :       Rebecca: oh i like it too

:  :       Rebecca: there is no other place i would rather be

:  :       Paul: I kiss your forehead

:  :       Rebecca: it feels nice

:  :       Rebecca: and abit wet

:  :       Rebecca: our eyes are locked on each other

:  :       Rebecca: the whole time

:  :       Rebecca: my hands wrapped around your neck

:  :       Rebecca: caressing your hair

:  :       Paul: I watch your reaction as i feel your sides.

:  :       Paul: I have mixed feelings

:  :       Paul: Head out deeper or go sit on the mat on the sand

:  :       Rebecca: which would you prefer?

:  :       Paul: I would like to float a bit and then dry off. Watch your dress float around

:  :       Rebecca: i shiver abit at your touch

:  :       Rebecca: but i like it

:  :       Paul: I hold your hand and lead you out

:  :       Paul: Up to your belly

:  :       Rebecca: i   a little scared

:  :       Rebecca: and abit cold

:  :       Paul: Tell me your fears

:  :       Rebecca: sharks? lol

:  :       Paul: To shallow

:  :       Rebecca: so what next?

:  :       Rebecca: are you tired sweetie ?

:  :       Paul: A little but enjoying myself. Ill sleep when i   ready

:  :       Rebecca: ok

:  :       Paul: I like feeling the cool water, your dress floats up to the surfaces and dances like an octopus. My shirt soaked through

:  :       Paul: Are you sleepy?

:  :       Rebecca: a little

:  :       Rebecca: go on

:  :       Rebecca: i   enjoying this

:  :       Rebecca: i feel your wet shirt against my body

:  :       Paul: My hands in yours. Staring at you, i touch your shoulders. Run down your arms

:  :       Paul: My hands under the water, on your bare sides under the dress. Eyes on you

:  :       Rebecca: it feels nice

:  :       Rebecca: i like the way you look at me

:  :       Rebecca: i shiver at your touch on my bare skin

:  :       Paul: I hold you against me.

:  :       Paul: I bring a hand up, hold your face and kiss your open mouth

:  :       Rebecca: your body feels warm

:  :       Rebecca: your heart is beating like a rabbit

:  :       Rebecca: your hand moves up and down my leg

:  :       Paul: I feel your thigh

:  :       Paul: I pick you up, and hold you against me, your legs wrap around me

:  :       Paul: A hand on your but and thighs

:  :       Rebecca: your kisses are harder

:  :       Rebecca: your tongue is in my mouth

:  :       Rebecca: i can feel you against me

:  :       Paul: I squeese your butt

:  :       Rebecca: hehe

:  :       Rebecca: do you feel weird?

:  :       Paul: I feel something good.

:  :       Rebecca: it sounds promising though 🙂

:  :       Paul: So i walk you out onto the beach. Sit down on the sand, pick up a glass each and look at the stars, snd think this moment, we only existed within it

:  :       Rebecca: yeah 🙂 it was a really nice moment

:  :       Rebecca: you are sweet

:  :       Paul: Maybe next time i can walk you down the beach to that party.

:  :       Paul: Okay goodnight dry that dress hehe

:  :       Rebecca: and you dry your shirt. have nice sweet dre s 🙂

:  :       Rebecca: goodnight

:  :       Rebecca: (hug)

In sex we find what we can’t in our day.

Title: We all wear the dress

I like to be fingered through my summer dresses, the feel of that thin fabric on my skin. I like a man who cross-dresses, we can both put on lipstick and fuck. I want to lift up his skirt and suck his cock. So big and thick with compared to that tiny skirt. I think that is how woman can look so great clothed, the small outfits accentuating their tits, arse and hips. And men I think should so the same, a sunny hat, and a summery dress.

Title: Wanting more

Cute girl I am, sitting on a dick

I wish you had more legs to lick and body parts to sit on,

To slide into me and hide in my dark places,

The sun is shining, my little hole is tiny,

But the feeling is so large,

Cum on my face, that bad taste,

I will lick it all up,

You are my god, and thanks for the fuck.

Title: vanilla

What goes up, must  come down,

I am dominant, you are a sub,

You arse must go up, so I can come down on you,

Its physics, physical forces working together,

Find the opposing forces in you and me.

Title: freckle on her chest

I head into this small town,

I look hard at it all, the many lives that must have lived here,

But gone and lost, nowhere to be found,

I talk to you behind the counter,

I don’t know why I stopped here but I am glad I found her,

After work, you lead me to a place to stay, take care of me, in your nurturing way,

You stroke my cock eyes on me, you know how to care, you know what to do,

You open your shirt, breast in a white bra,

It’s a the rusted hinge, tears within,

A memory had, sun on my hat, but the day doesn’t warm my heavy heart,

Close to you, under the fabric, your freckled skin,

I smile here, crowded in despair