Rants 4 and 5,6 for today

After a rather nice morning stroll through the forest, a few thoughts rants and stories writen I sat down for a rather yummy breakfast. food for thought, or food to fuel a new rant of mine. Here I will continue my goal for today to write 10 short thoughs, roughtly around 600 words each enough to pose an argument, or enough space to ramble on. So far today I have writen three and have added a few of my resent favourites to the last post. Why not celebrate something I am proud of by reblogging? It is not as though reading it again will me ash in your mouth.

 

title: editing my essays

After breakfast things move slow, I had so much ambition to get things done today and yet I am stuck in this pit of like whatever, what is the point of carrying on. I am trying to stay focused trying to reach the seemingly unreachable. somemethods I have for writting is writng the same paragraph over and over again until it is somehow better and all the cluncky parts just fizzle out. This method I used a lot in high school, with the essays I had to write. I would write out the essay and then just right the same paragraph over and over again until it bought on its own sort of magical light. This proved useful as my teacher really liked the paragraphs that I had written again and again. A way to fix things but without putting too much thought into it.

This has proved much more tediuse with longer writings, as writing ten times the amount of paragraphs that a piece of writing will have, can be a process. But I feel as though at some point that I will have to do this if I want to bring my rambles into something more readable. though at the momemnt I like the mix of ramble to something more consise. Maybe this will be my style of writing? maybe this is how I will get things done? maybe this is a good thing, to not follow the rules that have been set out infront of me.

Title: split bill

Where was  I something about pork? I really don’t like shredded ham on pizza, so many times as a child I have had shredded ham. And felt bloated and not well. I think good food should leave you feeling well and happy like the delicious nepalise food I had last night and there was a split bill that we had last night and I don’t think we handled it the best when the cashier started to get confused. I think he had a learning disability and I have been in that situation as a cashier when I add something up wrong and then struggle to do basic math because my brain has turned to jelly. I wanted to solve it and make it simple for him, but so did my friends and that didn’t help the cashier with us all talking at once. I am thinking that a good way to not only solve it but to make it a less stressful situation for the cashier would be to make everyone take a break. “okay this will take a moment to sort out, but before we do that lets take a break. The lovely gentelman was nice enough to let us split the bill for the nice meal we have had. ” “friend, would you like to tell me your method of bill splitting so then we can repeat it nice and calmly to the lovely gentelman who is letting us split the bill?” then we would discuss my friends method, I would add whatever points. and with our organised method My friend would relay it back to the cashier. And done. Less stress, everyone happy, If only split bills worked that easily.

Title: I am but a simple milk maiden

I sat there crying my eyes out, what did I know about vampires? what did I know about the demans that lurk at night. I was but a simple milk maiden. An a-sexual, simple, milk maiden. who knew so little of the word, but had high speed internet to search up cake recipies. So I was a cake conasure, a-sexual, simple, milk maiden. Did I mention that I dressed super femme. I was but a simple a sexual, super femme, cake conassure milk maiden. who knew so little about vampiers. And yet I had been called into the town this evening asked to battle the undead. how did they come to the conclustion that I – but a simple  a-sexual, super femme, cake conassure milk maiden. who knew so little about vampiers. – To fight the undead. So I walked into town, carring a wooden pole thinggy that I carry to hold milk with. And placed it down in the town square, I gave the milk to the shop keepers who handed me coins in exchange. I then walked into the town square where people where gathering, many faces. There she is! I heard voices say. and wispering amongst the crowd. Come here, step to the front young lady where we can all see you.

I stood on the stage and looked around, it seemed like everyone in town and the sourrounding farms had gathered, this was more people than I had seen at the town dance last summer where I felt the happiest I had ever felt with my pink and purple dress, laying down in the hay with friends for a rest after so much dancing and giggling. Young lady we have some questions for you. I was so confused, I had never been the centre of attention even amongst my small ground of friends. As I was but a simple  a-sexual, super femme, cake connoisseur milk maiden. who knew so little about vampires. 

And so I stood there looking bashful at the many onlookers. Young child we have gathered here today as there has been some concern with the vampires that live over the far hill. They do not normally bother us, but something recently has given us great concern. Young child, the mayor of the town, held my hand. And then with his other pointed at the wall behind us, the old stone wall, that had stood the test of time, most likely build when people first settled in this area. On the bricks carved into the stone and then painted read in the carvings was: We want to speak to the Milk Maiden, regards the vampires!

This was pretty clear as I was the only milk maiden in the village that they would want to speak to me. But why? I told the townfolk that I did not know what this was about and that  I was but a simple  a-sexual, super femme, cake connoisseur milk maiden. who knew so little about vampires. But from the mutterings and chatter it seemed clear that whatever this was about they wanted me to fix it.

 

 

success in the arts

my broken hand

I wake up and it is still in plaster, wrapped tightly like a glove,

I was going to draw and create all of this uni break,

writing hand, my drawing hand, my crafting hand,

shattered in four pieces,

I sit and look at in despair, how will I get anything done?

I get out of bed, put a shirt over my head, careful with my bulky hand through the arm hole,

sit down at the desk, looking at a blank sheet of paper,

cradling my bulky plaster hand, feeling the texture grazing my palm and fingertips,

I pick up a pen and let the ink seep into the paper, I move up and down the page,

getting a feel for the pen in my hand, seeing how steady my lines are,

a little shaky but I like the style, the innocent uneducated hand I have,

It feels like teaching a child to ride a bike,

And that is when the pen breaks,

I didn’t realize how hard I was grasping the pen, shatters,

plastic spikes penetrate my hand and pinky finger,

I feel the pain, but only stare in shock as ink and blood mix on the page.

 

Like we used to.

I remember when we used to fuck. That was a long time  ago. Your hair messy, you would not look after yourself. But you would always take the time to undress me. We had no money, because  there were not many options straight out of school, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life at 17. But the world seemed sso daunting, expecting so much from me.

Somewhere along the way we lost our way, I would trade a lot of what I have gained over the years to have that passion again with you. The way you lusted for me. Your eyes constantly on me, as I dressed for work or undressed for the night.

But maybe I am forgetting the bad. Was there a bad? I can’t remember. Oh wait, when we finially went our separate ways in the world. That month still hurts somewhere. It had been mutal, because we both had things going on and wanted to get out of this sleepy town. But once you are out and far from everything you have ever known I start to miss it all.

I came back last june to set up a practice as the local doctor of this town. Not far from where I grew up. So many memories. The times that we wagged school, that snake we found and teased until it chased us. We were inseperatable. I like having these memories around, and to pass them when I go for walks of an evening.

 

While I was shopping the other day I saw you. I heard that you were coming back here to visit your mother, but I did not think it was so soon. I followed you around the shopping center, I did not want to say hello, what would I say? It has been so long. Hiding behind plants and keeping my distance I followed you for a good twenty minutes before I decided it was time to leave and maybe our paths will cross soon enough.

The next day was Monday, the start of my working week. I buried myself in my work and quickly forgot about your arrival. Runny noses, foot injuries, anxiety, the usual, but interesting all the same. I call in the next patient. And walk into my office. Mmmm that name sounds formilure but I am not sure where. Then suddenly you walk around the corner and are standing there in my office. I forget to breath, and freeze up. “hi Jane” you say closing the door behind yourself.

I don’t know what to do. This was so unexpected, Shit say something Jane his going to think you are weird. “EERgh what do you want?” I say. Oh a bit to aggressive. “I mean hello Jessie” I correct myself.

You smile at me for a moment, your pale blue eyes and hair tied back. Neatly dressed, it looks like it would come natureally after years of practice. You hold that smile, the same smile, like you know some secrete that  we share but trying not to blurt it out.

“I was hoping you would take a look at my shoulder, I still get it checked up. Also I came to see you” Jessie said. I smile like a goof. And then remember that I am ment to say something “ah yes I say, that still a bit sore your shoulder, from that time you thought you could stop a bus with your bare hands” I say  grinning. “well take of your shirt and come sit over here”. He abliges and removes his shirt, tanned skin, athletic chest, the muscles moving beneath the skin, a healthy body from years of eating a low carb diet and triathlons. Jessie walks over and sits in the seat infront of me his back facing me. I feel around the joins and draw a line along the scar marks with my finger. I know these lines like my own lifeline. I can smell your body that scent mmmm. I breath in and sit on the bench behind me. You smell so yum, even after all these years. Without thinking I wrap my legs around you. My high heals in your lap. I snap out of it when you pinch my thigh. Ouch. “what, what was that for?” I protest. You laugh and say that your thighs were a bit to tight around you. Oh, um yeah I must have got carried away. Lost in your scent.

“…But I liked it, don’t stop!” You say. Mmm, I have dreamed about this. I massage your shoulders, feeling your skin between my fingers, then my hands on your chest. And then doubleing over I kiss you. My hand slides down to feel your belt and I take it off with my hands. And unsip your pants, my hand in your underwear bringing your cock out, I move the skin up and down playing with your cock. MMM yum It feels so warm in my hand. And all I can smell is you. Your tongue deep in my mouth. Your hands holding my face. Without our mouths leaving each other you tern around and I lay back on the doctors sick bed. My knees open up and I can feel you ontop of me, your weight so comforting. You kiss my neck, hands opening my blouse, you put a finger in my mouth I lick an suck it. Your other hand helps itself to my tits, holding squeezing. Your mouth sucking hard on one, then opening the rest of my blouse as your kisses move down, fingers tearing at my skirt and pulling down my white lace knickers.

I feel you lick me, your tongue on my clit, licking sucking entering me, licking the sides biting  my thigh and kissing there you bite. You hand still in my mouth I suck it as though I am trying to give my best head. And I get really wet. Your tongue in me. I get more and more arouse, the pressure is so intense. Then you come up for air. Your eyes on mine. You grab my hips and pull them towards me, your cock hard. You slide it into me. And push in the last inch. Oh god. It is so warm between my thighs. You bite my ear your breath on my as you side in and out getting faster and faster until I cum. You hold me still as you fuck me for a bit longer. And I can feel your relese as you cock pulsates and your warm load spills into me. This momemet I feel all of you, the connection, sex love. Whatever that was I wanted it for so long. We lay there for some time.

The world around me comes back into focus, and I realise that I am at work, I still have people to see today. And our seesion is just about up. We dress and as you are leaving I write my address on a piece of paper. “come see me tonight around 7pm when I knock off work” I say. “we’ll take some more, over sex”.

You smile and close the door behind you.

A short story in the making?

I am aiming to turn one of my poems into a short story. I thought it would be nice to post my progress either chapter by chapter or the whole thing. I went with the whole thing. Here is my first attempt. enjoy! 🙂

Title: 2015: Tax ideology  (short story progrees)

Poem: Tax ideology (chapter titles)

• There is inequity in how tax is paid here I Australia maybe the world,
• Paying off accountants to find loopholes, I’ve earnt it you say?
• But let’s think, what is a quick fix, something obvious, something that hurts,
• Luxury cars, brought with this money stripped from the community,
• Well I would like to stop time, just for one night, venture out with my merry men and women,
• Gone in sixty seconds, Nicolas cage style,
• Change the deeds from coal miner, you single mother, and average family,
• You have worked hard for it, you didn’t even realise you earnt it,
• See happy faces driving around town,
• It’s yours now, don’t believe me? Here there are no self-awarded crowns.

Chapter summaries

1. Travis at 25 realised more and more about the inequality in the world, and while speaking to a friend joked about how he would change it. This joke seemed very plauseable, and scary if it had consequence.
   • This is not about how I feel towards inderviduals, just how I feel how to tax system does not fairly represent the money that is made in Australia. And how I feel towards destruction of our natural beautiful land. Its these strong feelings that drove me to make a plan and send a message.
   • Facts: (have facts jotted at the end of each chapter as a reminder to myself and a reminder to the people why I am doing what I am doing) Once minded it will take 200000 years for the land to recover, every day 20000 fish are taken from our oceans, this will not

2. But how to do it, first you needed to track down the cars, with a reporter friend Travis made on tinder they made an interview will all the fat cats in Australia asking about the cars they drove, making a doccumatenary, they were more than happy to show there pride and joys, this doc was screaned across Australia.
   • There are many reasons why I am doing this, but I am making a forceful change as the rich got that way from playing the system. And now that they succeded we turn around and say play fair. Mmm no, I understand where they are coming from, and don’t think great experctaions is the way to go. For me I will play the system. I will make it work and I will successed. Determination is in my mind.

3. Now how to get the cars from here to somewhere else without anybnody noticing in one night. This would be a big plan, that needed extra hands Taking most if not all his advice from gone in sixty seconds. Travis made this happen

4. People woke the following day to see cars in ther yards with notes on there windscreans , saying it is theres and there is no joke to be had.

• A man got out his crowbar, knowing whos car this was, his boss that fired him 2 months ago, taking the crowbar to the windshield hard and fast
• To get a car to every middle class worker on the census, was something of a chalenege, I wrote notes saying that today, you can drive but tomorrow if you want to trade for a bike or food, or just sell it you can. With a smile at the end of the note
• That day there was traffic chaos everywhere, cars banked up everywhere, but many did not care, as they were enjoying eating chips in a $200,000 car. Sauce stains on the seat.

5. Due to a legal technicality, if the fat cats made any attempt to get the tax back from the community, they will have to backpay their tax, this message only served as a warning to be more generous to there workers, the environment, and to when paying their tax

6. Travis overjoyed with the change he had made in the world, went and got drunk in the afternnon with his friends, it was a hot day and steped on a snake, bitten and in shock he fell back into a ditch where he hit his head, laying unconscious he later died from both the poision and the fall.
   • The funny thing about losing consciousness is that your mind doesn’t register the last view seconds when your head it’s the floor, so for you you only see up until a second or two before you actually loose consciousness. Maybe it has to do with short term and long term memery. Maybe not, either way, Travis is dead now.

thanks for reading. I hope I have the time again to add to it, and make it grow into something nice to read. 

1 year anniversary

Many a time I have forgotten where I am,

How long have I been in this place, an hour? A year?

The length of time dawns on me, and I can feel it sinking into my heart,

What have I done in that time, how have I shown my love for the place I stay?

Exists as I choose, they say,

But what if I am not right to choose?

I am chilled, relaxed, floating in the stream of life,

though today I feel like I am stuck in the reeds, not a bad place to be

help me, guide me

connect

Feeling connected

feeling okay,

feeling tired,

feeling it all day,

I just want to be okay,

Let me rest now,

Feel it all go away

Unplug

Take a break,

for god sake,

You are losing it,

It’s hard to switch off,

You will fill better if you unplug for a while.

First date Dramas

At the end of a long dusty bar, you hope you have the right address.
You know you do when you see me, chatting away to a few strangers, I’m wearing jeans with a flowery pattern, and a Hawaiian shirt.

You walk towards me carrying a basket, on your arm. And tap me on the shoulder “Hey, I thought we were going on a picnic?”.

I turn looking at you and the basket. “I thought you weren’t going to show” I reply “what is in the basket, by the way?”

Monday morning rant

I like to do my morning rant, get it all out of my system. shake it off, as swifty would say. and then I can think clearly about the people I love and our connections that we make. and truly get poetic with the finer details of life. I apologies now, if some of it doesn’t make scene. but this is my blog, and I shall rant, however I feel.

so with this sunny day, i shall see friends, get some homework done, join my study group for lunch, as they are always studying. and it helps me study in a healthy positive way. there are so many faces, smiling at me today. it makes me happy that I can be a part of their lives, and them a part of mine. from this rant, story, maybe I will get a [poem]. but for now i shall right with no intention at all, casting out grammar, ans spelling, to not stop the flow, of words from me, onto the page. the faster it pores the better it shall be. i keep telling myself that, what else shall it be? birds are chirping, i can here them sing. its a song for me, I will here it again. 

Thighs

Thinking about you, on the train, How we meet, that sunny day, I‘d imagine you felt the same, Grateful you are still around, Homeward bound, Sincerely your hound.