You lay roses around me, but now I feel only thorns.

Rant no.1

Getting over you. I would much rather be with you, but you don’t love me and I can’t change that, all I can do is try to deal with the hurt and get on with my life.

Here I write, as an attempt to write you out of my mind and life as you have so easily done to me. I’m sure it wont be easy and all these feelings for you that are tied to me I will get rid of some of the knots loose but many will only reveal themselves with time.

Fortunatly this is not my first breakup, so I have had time to understand how bad things can be and how long the healing process can take. But this time around I have turned to writing to ease my pain and sooth the wounds.

So this month ironically is about relection and I think I will be doing plenty of that, with thoughts of you spinning in my head. is about reflection and reflecting so in many ways it is fitting to post this here.

The aftermarth, the silence, the hurt, the uncontrollable shakes that rattle throughout my body. Bob marly said “truh is everyone is going to hurt you.

Why? I can ask that again and agin. But I think the best way is to not complain, because it doesn’t matter what I say, if she does what to be around me then she would do what she could to stay in contact.

My cousin told me “don’t chase girls, as they always come back” in this case I hope that is true.

I feel writing my thoughts down, would helped me get over my first girlfriend, instead of biting my lip on the subject and just suffering through the pain that followed. I think if I can find a wayu to get it all out what I am feeling inside, I can rid myself of the waves of hurt that are starting to wash over me.

I have spent all day checking my empty inbox and feeling sad every time I clicked refresh. I had to do something to excape these feelings. I got a day kit together and checked my bike and made my way of on an adventure as far as I could go. I followed creeks, trails roads and bridges. I rode for five hours before heading home. Exsausted and tired I feel like I have made use of a feel hours that would have otherwise been spent wallowing.

I come home to no new text messages, no emails, nothing but me and my feelings in this dim lit room on a hot summer evening.

Another quote I can think about love is “all is far in love and war” leo teiszki?

I feel as soon as I put a few words down I could feel some of the hurt subsiding, I have to remember it all and write all of you out of my mind.

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