sexy sundays

Title:  stress and sex buildup

Not thinking straight, have a wank. My need for sex is sometimes shows itself im many differernt forms I knew there was a reason why I did not want to leave my aapartment just yet. Regardless how nice of a day it is outside. All the booze and sextual tention from last nights party was still there at the back of my mind. And I let it go unnoticed. But it was there eating at me, wanting to be released. I could not unsterstand why, I was so stressed over nothing, and could not focus on any task at hand. The sex drive was taking hold.

Sunday funday

Title: hot in the city

Waking up in the heat, water, however warm it is, is my friend. I will back all my papers and bits and pieces into the car today. Thankfully I had I sheet and a jacket to cover myself, as I had packed all my blankets thinking it will be to hot for that after a few hot nights.

Title: making plans

What are today’s plans. Pack, shower, eat, bike ride? And folio. I have finished one of eight pages. So I better keep cracking with that And send of a few by the end of the week, maybe.

Title: dieting

I am full now, bacon, eggs, a sprinkle of vegitable stock cooked in three types of oil with spinage on the side. Yum. I have been going for the low carb high fat diet lately. As I think I eat way too many breads and pastas. I was feeling bloated a lot. With the change I feel as though I am a bit more clear headed. And emotional. That is different, but a good different. Like more passinate about where I am, whom I am with, and what I am doing. In the zone, maybe a better way to put it.

Saturday night

Title: Just out of school

It may not be the best time right now. But I never delt with the death of a school friend that got sucked into a machine at a box factory shortly after we left school. My mind was somewhere else, and I new about it but never really understood that there whole life had just ended. And all that I and many others have done they did not get to experience any of it. It is sad and I am feeling it now.

Maybe it is my tired eyes, maybe it is the punch drink I had in the backyard of a friends place. Maybe it is that I have been reflecting a lot lately. Maybe it is my diet making me emotional. Whatever it is. I feel it now, the sadness I never understood.

Friday: dazed and confused

Title: 10am automatic

Waking up like clockwork regardless how late I went to sleep, I can feel the heat making my skin sticky and gross. Thankfully I wont be spending the summer here. I am moving out. Heading back to my folks this summer.

Title: skype

I am getting side tracked what was I doing again? Making a skype call, wasting time. I need to go down to the gallery today. But I don’t know what time. It will be open. Chatting on cam, to a person I only half know. People love to watch other people masturbate. I do to, but only if we maintain eye contact.

Title: groan

I take the things out of my closet and lay them on my bed. These I will pack  into my car. I will begin the first stage of moving today. On this hot sweaty day.

I can’t even think straight. My mind is a blur. I feel not the best. I think I am still hung over, trying to string words together. But the pain of thinking and doing is making it hard.

Sex:Thoughts and feelings

I have been thinking a lot about sex over the last few months and my passion for it. Here are a collection of thoughts and feelings I have jotted down. Enjoy!

title: On the towel

I unzip my pants, flop out my cock and grasp it. I close my eyes and think of nothing. I don’t want my head anywhere else but here enjoying myself. This focus, this energy makes me feel it all. In control.

I take my time, speed up, slow down, I want to feel it all. As I get closer to cumming I can feel it build. And flow out of me, on the towel over my lap.

title: Chlorine

Today I went for my morning swim. It was such a sunny day. Rode my bike through the backstreets to get there. Feeling the breeze.

Changing rooms, smell of bodies. I take my shirt of, shorts and jocks. Then put on my bathers.

I walk to the edge of the pool dive in. Lap after lap. Thankfully the pool is heated. After some time I notice a girl in the next lane looking at me, her head above water, our eyes meeting as we swim past each other from opposite ends of the pool.

Blonde, white skin, tanned and fit. I think about her thighs.

My swim has finished, I can swim no more. I push myself up onto the ledge with my hands, water dripping from my body. She stops and stands in the next lane. Blue flowery bikini. That body. I know she wants me to talk to her.

“Hi” I say

“I don”t think I can swim anymore, though I do love a morning swim….”

She turns to me. Those eyes looking up at me. I want to cum between those thighs.

title: Lust-O-Vision

We sit on the couch, you climb onto me.

The room begins to crowd around us,

I stare at your tits,

They bulge and expand in your chest, pressing hard against your blouse,

You hold my shirt,

Gripped with fear, pleasure and pain.

title: Toothpaste

When I think of you, I want to come

Hard, so much pressure

body sags, all draining towards my cock

Like a tube of toothpaste, covering you

Both savoring the moment, As I empty and you fill

When I think of you, I want to come.

title: Throb

I’ve been waiting for you all afternoon

thick in my jeans

meeting later tonight

excitement making me shake

dominate you

Make you beg

take all my agony

make it flow.

 

link. 

I like to read these stories sometimes when I am home alone and in the mood. porn as therapy

I just want to be sad alone.

Here is a collection of sad poems and writings from over the past few months. I have opened my heart a little letting the sad feelings out. Enjoy!

Title: 82

Maybe I’m too young, We all are.

My granddad, He is a special man, and tells me

“don’t worry out about growing up, i still don’t know what i want to be”

funny and lovely, he is 82 today

time is running out,

maybe.

title:  Grandpa

You are getting on in life,

I visited you at the hospital,

My dad said you are interested in what I do, but we never really talk,

today is another day,

get well soon.

title: Origami heart

My heart is little more than thin bit of paper,

Bent and folded, fraying where you left a tear,

But I want to move on,

Folding my heart out, i want to make it fit,

To be beutiful and practical, bend and fit,

I love this idea, a creases on shiny paper,

Im tired now ill get to it later,
sit back and think,

Ideas make my wonder, probability makes me mad,

I should be happy, but problems are problems,

And I take on many, when my heart already feels the burden,

Sad on a tuesday,  I’m bent, folded away into nothing,

Resuscitate me into an origami piece healthy, hiding the tears,

Make this sad page okay

Title: At the mercy

My thyroid, holding my throat,slowly cloaking me

Breathing through my nose, to not absorb smoke,

Symptoms and feelings:  nervousness, tremors, pain in throat, depression,

Title: Front row seat

I sit here, somewhere out there yonder in the ether,

Obscure, but finding comfort and excitement in something new,

My blue heart, brought me here,

The rest is unclear, but the idea of you and this,

Tears don’t fall down in space,

I love.

Title: time on your hands

Uplifting, but I want to be down,

Do you have time to stick around,

I want to be alone with my thoughts,

But want you ready when I am

Title: light switch

Turn down the light,

I find it awfully bright,

my eyes are tired my mind to.

Let them both be, and I’ll smile onto you.

Title: Drowning  without water

I hurt out here in space,

A space without you, head ringing, closing my eyes

Its like everything we have ever done, I have ever done screaming in my head,

I am alone, physically, but surrounded by 25 years of memories,

Running deep in every direction, Like a sea, fighting hard to stay afloat,

Eyes open, Its gone, and I am alone.

Title: washing powder

What a mess, I want to scream, get out, get lost,

I feel dirty, shower myself, hose this place,

Spit out the sickness that is building up sitting here.

title: Heartbreak in Spring.

It hurts me know, that text you sent,

I have pined for you so long, and though of you throughout my day,

I’ll walk alone in the warm summer air,

In such contrast to how I feel,

when you said

you were meeting with a “friend”

title: Is it ever enough

I keep pushing upwards, getting things done,

My love for you, my work ,my friends, and nature,

I feel the weight of it all, have I come far at all?

and I ask myself, Is it ever enough?

title: My heat breaks as easy as yours

I absorb the words you tell me and I feel it in my heart, that lonely feeling replaced with pain, with the words that you say to me. While I was sleeping you were fucking someone else. And it hurts me, as I felt that we were n the same level, taking things slow. But you don’t feel the same way about me. And in many ways I would have done the same to you. I do not feel any sadness if I would find myself with another lover.

title: only happy when I am sick

Migraine, back ache, sore throat, hayfeaver, sunstroke

I turn off from the world and go into recovery mode, guilt free

the only time i truly respect me, my body, my mind and my emotions,

people don’t enjoy being sick, but somehow I find comfort in it

happily sick.

title: still Awake

I need go rest, I need to lounge,

my body is not as enthusiastic as my mind,

sunburnt, tired, saw feet, running on empty

If you want to see me at my best, let me sleep,

don’t get mad, let me rest

title: Mary’s Poem

Another rose this year,

sweating in my suit, on this warm sunny day,

the end really scares me,

Those I look up to,

covered in tears.