I just want to be sad alone.

Here is a collection of sad poems and writings from over the past few months. I have opened my heart a little letting the sad feelings out. Enjoy!

Title: 82

Maybe I’m too young, We all are.

My granddad, He is a special man, and tells me

“don’t worry out about growing up, i still don’t know what i want to be”

funny and lovely, he is 82 today

time is running out,

maybe.

title:  Grandpa

You are getting on in life,

I visited you at the hospital,

My dad said you are interested in what I do, but we never really talk,

today is another day,

get well soon.

title: Origami heart

My heart is little more than thin bit of paper,

Bent and folded, fraying where you left a tear,

But I want to move on,

Folding my heart out, i want to make it fit,

To be beutiful and practical, bend and fit,

I love this idea, a creases on shiny paper,

Im tired now ill get to it later,
sit back and think,

Ideas make my wonder, probability makes me mad,

I should be happy, but problems are problems,

And I take on many, when my heart already feels the burden,

Sad on a tuesday,  I’m bent, folded away into nothing,

Resuscitate me into an origami piece healthy, hiding the tears,

Make this sad page okay

Title: At the mercy

My thyroid, holding my throat,slowly cloaking me

Breathing through my nose, to not absorb smoke,

Symptoms and feelings:  nervousness, tremors, pain in throat, depression,

Title: Front row seat

I sit here, somewhere out there yonder in the ether,

Obscure, but finding comfort and excitement in something new,

My blue heart, brought me here,

The rest is unclear, but the idea of you and this,

Tears don’t fall down in space,

I love.

Title: time on your hands

Uplifting, but I want to be down,

Do you have time to stick around,

I want to be alone with my thoughts,

But want you ready when I am

Title: light switch

Turn down the light,

I find it awfully bright,

my eyes are tired my mind to.

Let them both be, and I’ll smile onto you.

Title: Drowning  without water

I hurt out here in space,

A space without you, head ringing, closing my eyes

Its like everything we have ever done, I have ever done screaming in my head,

I am alone, physically, but surrounded by 25 years of memories,

Running deep in every direction, Like a sea, fighting hard to stay afloat,

Eyes open, Its gone, and I am alone.

Title: washing powder

What a mess, I want to scream, get out, get lost,

I feel dirty, shower myself, hose this place,

Spit out the sickness that is building up sitting here.

title: Heartbreak in Spring.

It hurts me know, that text you sent,

I have pined for you so long, and though of you throughout my day,

I’ll walk alone in the warm summer air,

In such contrast to how I feel,

when you said

you were meeting with a “friend”

title: Is it ever enough

I keep pushing upwards, getting things done,

My love for you, my work ,my friends, and nature,

I feel the weight of it all, have I come far at all?

and I ask myself, Is it ever enough?

title: My heat breaks as easy as yours

I absorb the words you tell me and I feel it in my heart, that lonely feeling replaced with pain, with the words that you say to me. While I was sleeping you were fucking someone else. And it hurts me, as I felt that we were n the same level, taking things slow. But you don’t feel the same way about me. And in many ways I would have done the same to you. I do not feel any sadness if I would find myself with another lover.

title: only happy when I am sick

Migraine, back ache, sore throat, hayfeaver, sunstroke

I turn off from the world and go into recovery mode, guilt free

the only time i truly respect me, my body, my mind and my emotions,

people don’t enjoy being sick, but somehow I find comfort in it

happily sick.

title: still Awake

I need go rest, I need to lounge,

my body is not as enthusiastic as my mind,

sunburnt, tired, saw feet, running on empty

If you want to see me at my best, let me sleep,

don’t get mad, let me rest

title: Mary’s Poem

Another rose this year,

sweating in my suit, on this warm sunny day,

the end really scares me,

Those I look up to,

covered in tears.

2 thoughts on “I just want to be sad alone.

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