Outside my door

It is sunny outside, the heat makes me feel good and want to be active and do things with my day. I feel good because I have done many drawings and I am ready to submit my assignment. I have a swig of wine as I want a little buzz going when I walk out the door. I get cleaned up, smiling at myself as I brush my teeth. Getting all those yellow stains off. My teeth look so white in my reflection, I enjoy observing them.

The sun through the window warms my face. I put on my sunnies and Head out the front door, down the stairs. People are waiting at the bottom of the steps, I think they are friendly but I am wrong, they want my jacket. I get punched in the gut, and a whack across the face. and I fall down was they take it from me. I am tasting dust and dirt from the concret. I lay there for a while. In shock. But then I pull myslef up straighten up my shirt and dust myslef down. Still ready for the day!


It is the curvature that is effecting me, the curvature of my spine and the curves of your body,

one so abundant in life, the other withered and frail.

I like the sway of those hips. you asked me to bed you on more than one occasion. but that is not the way to my heart or yours.

I think i could travel the world, and if you let me, with a little bit of money, take you with me.

two thoughts on a tuesday night

  • How I blog
  • i want to make this blog grow, like a seed I plant and nuture, but at the same time I want it to grow wild. I want its roots to grow deep (followers and credability) and for its branches to reach far connecting ideas, and thoughs woven in such a way that it is just beatiful to observe, and when you are up close the detail is phonomial, how much thought and ideas have gone into this multi dimentional tree. that is how i blog, that is what I have in mind when I blog.
  • hagging with you
  • there are many truths to me and many lies to me but what you seem to focus in on is something that is not me, and you wnat me to feel bad about that nothing idea you have of me. we I say you are not a great person and to project these ideas are very annoying. but like all people that annoy me you are probably amazing in bed. i think you will do beeter than anything i could think up for you to do for me. and it will feel so great tpo have you. and then it will be over and I will want you gone, out of my life, until we are both in the mood again. the cycle isn’t great, fun. but never great for the mind body or soul. but maybe it is, this uncertainty is what I like most. it is sexy, and always leaving me wanting more, it challenges my mind and makes me question things.

what reading means to me

I wonder what will be in that book, the blurb and cover excite me, but i have not had the chance to open the cover, look on in and have my mind sucked into the pages, not to return to my body until I turn the last page over. This is how I feel when I think about reading this were books take me. an out of body experience, and I love it, it is such a rush! it makes me smile, makes me sad, makes me ponder, but always leaves me wanting more.

I am gone

Hide away, I don’t want to be seen, look away take a turn that will take me further from interaction, I don’t want to think I don’t want to make myself know I want to hide away on a day like today. there are so many things that I can see that i want but I will walk around them and walk away as I don’t know what to do or how to maintain it, I am ever so alone and empty inside, I feel the cold sweat of loneliness crowding in on me and I think this may be the end there is no way up and I keep sinking, I want to sink I want to feel pain and I want to be alone. I want to be left alone never to be thought of again, for the earth to swallow me up and to not let me back out, I reach out a beg for nothing to come of me. for me to become the emptiness inyour heart and the feeling that you made me feel. I am gone, and I am blaming you.

River of love

Love is a river, Sharing is a raft,

I float on over to you, and offer my hand,

we both smile, and lay back closing eyes,

We float and drift, feeling it all,

We can get off and join the land,

or we can just float on down stream,

float on down the river of love.

My heart is open to you

I had a revelation today, there is only you and me in this word. Me and you with your many personalities and faces and millions of lives each one a choice of yours that I have to respect, envy, hate, and condemn.

from that I think I can open my heart more to love everyone as though I am loving you. To let them in, because wherever I am and whomever I am with I will be with you.

Your heart there and mine beside you.

Sink into me

I would like to write in a way that captures who I am, and goes deep within me, but for the moment I am treading water on the surface, I look down every now and then. But I am still floating in the safety of my swim. I need to let go and feel the water rise around me, over my shoulders and making my hair wet. I need to sink down, into a place I have not been before and feel the current on my skin as it moves me back and forth. I need to let go I need to embrace that fear, not knowing how deep it is. Sinking, vulnerable to all that may or may not be around me. And to let go of that air. only for a moment, letting go. And that in that moment I will be free from myself. before I spring back up to the surface kicking, and gasping for air. splashing about. I was free for a moment, now I will lean back and let the sun dry my face, and listen to the sounds around me. I was free, I was free for a moment.